Paul Reiser

“He was born early. But he was born within a safe range of premature.”

“There's something that happens in that delivery room, when a woman becomes ten times more a woman, and a guy becomes six times less a man. You feel really dopey and useless and like a spectator. I did, anyway.”

“בכל פעם שאני רואה את פיטר פאלק בסרט אני חושב שזה יהיה נהדר. יהיה לנו כיף ביחד.”

“אני שמח לפגוש כותבים מקומיים מוכשרים ונחמדים שנתנו לי טעימה טובה מהתעשייה המקומית. אני שמח שכולם יצאו בשלום מהמקום ולא קרה להם כלום אחרת לא הייתה יותר סאטירה בישראל.”

“In the original draft I was 27 and Peter was 55 in the script. That's not the same as a guy in his 40s and a dad in the end of his 70s. It's a different point in both our lives.”

“This is not the most right I've ever been.”

“Field of Dreams is the only movie - and I saw it in the theater - on an afternoon when I was on location somewhere, and there were like 12 people in the theater. I was just so devastated; I couldn't get out of my seat. And I sat and watched it a second time.”

“Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.”

“But the two of them together, broke my heart. Olympia and Peter, those scenes... When they're kissing in their 20s and then kissing in their 70s, that's what it is. And they had never met five minutes before they shot those scenes.”

“They're not the sharpest people - babies. So, you must be everything to them.”

“Upstate New York in the middle of October. You can't get more beautiful than that.”

“We had the boy's name picked out, but we didn't have a girl's. When he turned out to be a boy, we were so relieved. Literally, in the middle of contracting and pushing, and with my wife being drugged - out and half - lucid, we were still coming up with names.”

“And after you've done the acting, there's a lot of places you can put your input - in the editing, in the production of it, in the rewriting of it and so on.”

“Nothing would make me happier if Peter Falk would finally win his Oscar for this. Not just as the writer but as a fan and a friend. It would be so great.”

“It's not like some movies where you're following a bunch of different stories you can cut around. There was nowhere to cut to. It's these guys. We're not cutting back to anybody else.”

“I remember my wife and I used to get on plane and see everybody else with their babies. They'd be putting strollers and car seats up above, and we'd think: Oh, please Lord, don't make us go through that.”

“We made this movie for $17, and nobody got anything. So it never dawned on me that we would get real people.”

“In fact, I had the idea because of Peter Falk. I saw my dad watching a Peter Falk movie and something clicked in my head. I gotta go make a movie for Peter Falk and me.”

“The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering.”

“Marriage is just an elaborate game that allows two selfish people to periodically feel that they're not.”