Patton Oswalt

“I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.”

“There are times when I have to take, I call it a 'silence bath,' where I shut off all of the external gadgets. I go walk around, talk to people, and just live life for a while.”

“Does anyone act more like an overserious senior citizen with time running out on their chance for immortality than someone in their twenties?”

“Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, 'This is where I wanna be.'”

“I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.”

“I've had some pretty good arguments with people, but I've never regretted it. I've had people come up where it's all emotion and no fact. That's always sad.”

“Everything we have today that's cool comes from someone wanting more of something they loved in the past. Action figures, videogames, superhero movies, iPods: All are continuations of a love that wanted more.”

“If you actually do cold readings, it's very close to how people actually talk, because you're experiencing these thoughts anew every moment, and trying to make them come out coherently.”

“Based on my own experience, when you're going through adolescence you don't know how the world works. You can't set a story in the world you live in because you don't know what a utility bill is, or how to budget your paycheck.”

“There is a part of my generation that is not on social media because they have happy lives and they're not trying to connect with anybody. And there are other people who are on social media because they need to connect.”

“Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.”

“I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.”

“In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.”

“I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, 'Well, I've had it with humanity.' But I was wrong.”

“I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see.”

“When you put an album out, you can't do any material from the album if people are paying to see you.”

“I never said that movies were struggling behind TV. I'm just saying that movies have a better creative cache.”

“I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against.”

“If I were to just focus on stand-up, I could actually, paradoxically enough, be home way more, because I would leave on a Friday, go do a couple theaters Friday, Saturday, maybe Sunday, come home.”

“Having enough money has to go hand in hand with living in a way that you're not being a slave to your possessions.”