Patti Harrison

“There's like a little bit of a narcissism - I think there's more than a little bit of narcissism about it, but it's just that you can become so anxious and self-obsessive about whether this thing that I'm writing is good; is this joke that I'm making good?”

“I don't like to eat octopus. They're so smart.”

“I think I have more fun making jokes online and making stupid Instagram videos than I do in my real life, on stage.”

“I don't feel like I thrive doing livestream comedy, per se. It really triggers a lot of little neuroses that I have about performing and it's not conducive to me to do a good job.”

“It seems like studios and networks only greenlight stuff that has familiarity to them. If you can be like, 'Oh, it's 'Workaholics,' but it's Asian girls,' they're like, 'Yeah, we've got it. We know exactly what the show is. It's greenlit.'”

“It's really cool to read feedback. I'm trying not to engage too much, though, because I spiral out even if the reviews are, like... positive.”

“If you have a soft chin you can write an amazing song about me that involves an alien from my favorite movie, and then I'm yours.”

“If Ohio was a food, it would be Benadryl. If Chicago was pizza, Ohio is Benadryl, or some sort of generic over-the-counter.”

“A lot of what I say isn't my real thoughts, it's this character, and maybe that's true for a lot of comedians. It's really the inversion of my thoughts.”

“My dream is to get rich enough from an absolutely soul-disintegrating campaign where I sell my morals to buy a house in Ohio near my family.”

“I just want people to know that. I'm not trying to make space for other trans women.”

“My solo stuff for live shows is very meandering. I write a lot of slower bits that give me room to improvise and play with a character.”

“Being on camera has really rehashed a lot of old feelings, because I dealt with body dysmorphia for a long time.”

“I was super, super into Pokemon.”

“I would say that I'm not a fan at all of Woody Allen's.”

“I think a lot of me trying to blend in was me co-opting the racism that was used against me in a way - being OK with it.”

“Before I transitioned, I felt like I could walk on stage and just, like, say anything and people would just laugh. And that's kind of a privilege that I just lost through the layers of social context and me being visibly a political object in a lot of people's brains.”

“Coming out of 'Shrill,' depending on who's directing, they'll let you ad lib sometimes, you can pitch ideas if you have them.”

“I think there will always be a part of me that kind of fanboys out about action sci-fi.”

“And I mean, I watched all of 'Friends' in college. I liked it growing up, and it's a very nostalgic show for me.”