Ozzy Osbourne

“I used to fantasize that Paul McCartney would marry my sister.”

“I have a saying. 'Never judge a book by its cover'. I say that because I don't even know who Ozzy is. I wake up a new person every day.”

“I'm a very simple man. You've got to have, like, a computer nowadays to turn the TV on and off... and the nightmare continues.”

“You gotta be really careful what you bite off. Don't bite off more than you can chew. It's a dangerous world.”

“To be a liar, you've got to have a great memory, and I don't have a memory.”

“Somebody said to me this morning, 'To what do you attribute your longevity?' I don't know. I mean, I couldn't have planned my life out better. By all accounts I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through: the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I've lived the last 30 years!”

“I'll only retire in the day I should be dead and they have me buried, and some idiot spell over my casket some stupid gospel stuff.”

“What is the world coming to?”

“Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.”

“I knew it was time to get off of reality TV when someone asked me if I sang as well as acted.”

“I'm dyslexic, I have attention-deficit disorder, and I've got something like a hereditary tremor.”

“They say military have the so-called 'secret intelligence' - this amount of intelligence must be very secret, since I've never seen any intelligent military person, nor I have seen any sense in the bloody stupid wars.”

“It's all part of my journey - I've done a lot of stupid things, but you learn by your mistakes.”

“L.A.'s not a good place to grow old.”

“What is this? It's music to get a brain seizure by.”

“I wish I didn't have to perform 'Iron Man' every night.”

“I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots.”

“I have a genuine love affair with my audience. When I'm on stage they're not privileged to see me. It's a privilege for me to see them.”

“I am a raging alcoholic and a raging addict and I didn't want to see my kids do the same thing.”

“I cannot turn down this incredible honor twice.”