Oscar Levant

“The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.”

“So little time and so little to do.”

“Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.”

“I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.”

“I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.”

“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”

“Once Dwight Eisenhower makes up his mind, he's full of indecision.”

“I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the ones that keep me walking the floors at night.”

“I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.”

“There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”

“Schizophrenia beats dining alone.”

“Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.”

“There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.”

“Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.”

“I think a lot of Bernstein - but not as much as he does.”

“I am no more humble than my talents require.”

“Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.”

“Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.”

“I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.”

“I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.”