Oliver Herford

“Age, like distance lends a double charm.”

“Tact: to lie about others as you would have them lie about you.”

“A kiss is a course of procedure cunningly devised, for the mutual stopage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.”

“Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.”

“A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.”

“When I go abroad I always sail from Boston because it is such a pleasant place to get away from.”

“Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember.”

“Only the young die good.”

“Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.”

“Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.”

“What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan.”

“A man must love a thing very much if he not only practices it without any hope of fame and money, but even... without any hope of doing it well.”

“The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.”

“Many are called but few get up.”

“A rolling stone gathers no moss, but it gains a certain polish.”

“There is always room at the top - after the investigation.”

“A man is known by the silence he keeps.”