Melody Beattie

“Relationships are where we take our recovery on the road.”

“Each moment in time we have it all, even when we think we don't.”

“In martial arts, every time you graduate, move to another level, you don't forget everything you've done. You build on it, but it's always there.”

“We are on a very rich emotional and physical journey on this planet.”

“It's hard to give up the self-esteem connected to being codependent and appearing 'right,' which is probably a survival behavior learned from growing up in a crazy family. It feels like you will actually disappear.”

“I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people's lives, problems, and wants set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life.”

“Some therapists have proclaimed: 'Co-dependency is anything, and everyone is co-dependent.'”

“Guilt can prevent us from setting the boundaries that would be in our best interests, and in other people's best interests.”

“Letting go helps us to to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.”

“Beliefs create reality”

“Ever since people first existed, they have been doing all the things we label "codependent." They have worried themselves sick about other people. They have tried to help in ways that didn't help. They have said yes when they meant no. They have tried to make other people see things their way. They have bent over backwards avoiding hurting people's feelings and, in so doing, have hurt themselves. They have been afraid to trust their feelings. They have believed lies and then felt betrayed. They have wanted to get even and punish others. They have felt so angry they wanted to kill. They have struggled for their rights while other people said they didn't have any. They have worn sackcloth because they didn't believe they deserved silk.”

“You don't blast a heart open," she said. "You coax and nurture it open, like the sun does to a rose.”

“Twelve-step promotes spirituality, not religion. It gives a practical, day-to-day spirituality that tells me what I can and cannot control. There is room to be imperfect and to be someone who struggles to find God.”

“Don't violate your own code of values and ethics, but don't waste energy trying to make other people violate theirs.”

“Feel what you feel, know what you know, and set your relatives free to do the same.”

“I used to be afraid of pain, didn't take a lot of risks, especially in love. I'm not as afraid anymore. I'm more spontaneous, more likely to say what I think.”