Mary Eunice McCarthy

“Next week the Independent and Press will bring you a new column published for the first time anywhere [...] It will be titled "Mary McCarthy's Column." Anything more pretentious would offend Mary Eunice McCarthy.”

“Gaiety and God were closely connected in my mother's mind. Going to church on Sunday was not enough. Having fun was necessary, if the worship of God were to be complete. "We should enjoy ourselves, especially on Sunday, to show Him how happy we are on His day. If we can't help having a long face once in a while, then for heaven's sake let's have it on a week day." p. 103”

“Jimmy: Hey, Callahan!Callahan: Hey, Cupid, who sent you down here?Jimmy: Never mind the smart cracks; something important has happened.Callahan: Yeah?Jimmy: Yeah, I... I've decided maybe I was wrong about you.Callahan: So what?Jimmy: Well... so how do you spell your name?,Callahan: My name? C, A, double L, A, H, A, N. Why?Jimmy: Mm hmm. Look... would you mind writin' it for me?Callahan: Writing it?Jimmy: Yeah.Callahan: [Signs.] What's the gag?Jimmy: Well, if this proves you're all right, you're gonna get Susie.Callahan: Hey, are you crazy?Jimmy: No, no! No, I'm a graphologist; now be quiet.”

“Jimmy: This is awful! It's terrible! Hey, Jefferson! [Shouting] Hey! Hey.Jefferson: What's the matter?Jimmy: I made a mistake!Jefferson: Which one?Jimmy: Well... according to this, Morgan isn't a G-man!Jefferson: How can you tell?Well, this claims he's a liar.Jefferson: How does that prove he ain't no G-man?”

“Jefferson: But Mr. Cupid: if you go through that book, lookin' all through them Joneses, we're gonna be late. And we gonna get another traffic ticket, and...Jimmy: Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Don't you want to get a boy friend for a nice girl like Susie?Jefferson: Yeah. And I wanna keep a job for a nice boy like Jefferson.”

“Jimmy "Mr. Cupid" O'Brien: Come on, step on it, Jefferson! We're an hour late for our deliveries now.Thomas H. Jefferson: Aw, have a heart, Mr. Cupid. Look at that speed meter.Jimmy: What're you worried about?Jefferson: About goin' to my own funeral. [Siren heard.] Mm mm. What'd I tell you? Here come the cops.Jimmy: Now listen! You keep quiet. I'll get out of this.Jefferson: You wouldn't be in it if you would go where the flowers was goin', instead of stoppin' where they ain't.”

“If Americans don't give up their prejudices because of false notions of religious or racial or national superiority, then, by golly, they're going to have to give them up because the other fellows are getting the guns.”

“What they need to do is to look more closely at the fundamentals of American life, sympathetically, not with intent to "commit a message."”