Mark Speed

“You said these guys are your cousins? Is that, like, for real? It's, like, not a turn of phrase?""What on earth do you mean?""Well, I refer to my bluds as cuz, sometimes. Is it like that, or is they real blood relatives?""Yes, four of them are cousins. One of them is my twin brother. I'm sure you can guess who.""Who?""Yes.""No, who?""Exactly." The Doctor's gaze was in some far-off place, his voice low and monotone. "He was always the troublesome one. He instigated the rift, cemented the separation. Blabbed to the Beeb. I can never forgive him for that. Never.”

“But Time Lords always travel in the T – in their Spectrels, don't they?""Only if absolutely necessary.""You what?""It's another myth put about by those scoundrels. Dramatic effect and all that. It's all his fault.""What do you mean?""Who's fault.""No, I asked you first.""No, you clot. It's Who's fault – Dr bloody Who. That's who!""Why?""No, not Why. I said it's Who's fault.""Whose fault?""Yes. Who.""What?""No! Listen, damn you. Don't bring Why or What into it. It's nothing to do with them. It's Who's fault.""That's what I'm trying to establish, Doctor. Whose fault is it?""Yes. It's Who's fault; now, can we just bloody get on with it and stop arguing the toss and bringing the others into it?”