Louis C. K.

“I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die.”

“There's no such thing as a cheap laugh.”

“Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.”

“I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.”

“I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.”

“The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.”

“People get successful and they start saying, 'Well of course I am! I was chosen! I'm special!' No, you're not.”

“I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.”

“It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally.”

“I was an awkward kid.”

“I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about.”

“I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.”

“You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented.”

“I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.”

“Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.”

“Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides.”

“When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.'”

“A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.”

“It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.”

“It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.”