Lish McBride

“She whistled when she noticed my back. I assume because of my injuries. I mean, my ass just isn't that spectacular.”

“So you're the guy who did the no-no cha-cha with my baby sister.”

“There were no windows in my bedroom, so I had to sit up and read my clock to figure out how angry I should be at my visitor. Eight A.M. I hated whoever woke me up. Had they come an hour earlier, I would have also hated their families and any household pets.”

“Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. "Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. could convert to Judaism, why not a chupacabra? We should name him Harry Mendelbaum."I held up my arms in protest. "You're all racist. Now shut up. We'll call him Taco von Precious of Svenenstein. There, everybody h”

“And someone, somewhere, was having an even worse time of it than me. I tried to keep that in mind. No matter how crappy your life, someone will probably beat you in the my-life-is-crap category. Not that I don't let myself whine a little now and then, but sometimes it's good to keep your misery in perspective”

“Fear, left unchecked, can spread like a virus.”

“Pity. What a useless emotion when you don't act on it. Pity is supposed to trigger compassion.”

“You know what the great thing about babies is? They are like little bundles of hope. Like the future in a basket.”