Limmy

“I love saying terrible things. Things that I think are terrible and I've gotten in to trouble in the past - just hearing it come out of my mouth or seeing it typed and seeing it out there - something terrible that in real life isn't funny.”

“I was asked before to go out on '8 out of 10 Cats,' and I've been asked to go on 'Question Time,' I said to no to that. I don't see myself coming across well on that sort of thing.”

“I think everybody in the world should agree to no care about anything. But we'll all have to do it at the same time.”

“I actually don't have a lot of faith in comedy.”

“There are so many different ways of making people laugh and sometimes you sit down to watch something that everyone says is hilarious and within a couple of minutes you realise its comedy that isn't for you.”

“I've said before I think the best thing about social media is that it brings people together and the worst thing about social media is that it brings people together. You're assuming that the people following you know what type of person you are and what type of humour you have.”

“I'm just someone who likes making lots of things up and trying to be funny. That's about it.”

“No, I don't think I'll ever get any stalkers, as I'm the stalker type myself.”

“My issue with all sort of social justice stuff and leftie stuff, and I would put myself on a social justice leftie side, is some of the terminology is jargon.”

“When I was wee, in the middle of the summer, the big field behind the shops would be filled with dry grass and I'd get a box of matches. You chuck one match on that and the whole thing goes up in flames. Twitter's a bit like that. You can just say one thing and it explodes from there.”

“I'm quite a hermit.”

“I would like to one day write a nice big novel and enjoy writing it and people enjoy reading it but I cannae be bothered or I don't have any ideas that would fill up a big book like that.”

“I love 'The Twilight Zone,' the original black and white ones with Rod Serling's wee bit at the beginning.”

“With my upbringing and where I grew up, people slagged people. If you slagged them, they'd slag you back... I know it pales in comparison to genuine issues that people have got, but I've had people slagging my stuff off on my blog and my website for years.”

“I'm not a mad genius or anything, but I'm just constantly driven to make things up, but I wonder who I'm doing all this for?”

“Trolling can be a great way to engage with the world, a way to regain self-esteem and happiness, or, dare I say it, a way of life.”

“Once you get it in your head you're finished with something, to go back, it hurts.”

“Actually, I just want to entertain people. Put that in my obituary, a final picture, all dark in the background.”

“In my own mind, I can joke about anything.”

“I don't really read a lot. I got a few Booker Prize books and some others and thought I'd try this but quite quickly I just stick them down. I do like some Stephen King books but with some of them I just put them down as well. But I'm like that with telly stuff as well and films or music.”