Lily Tomlin

“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”

“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”

“For fast-acting relief try slowing down.”

“I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war.”

“To me, 'sexual freedom' means freedom from having to have sex.”

“I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.”

“I especially love 'Web Therapy' and I did 'Eastbound and Down' too. I had a lot of fun doing that.”

“I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.”

“We're all in this alone.”

“Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.”

“When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.”

“Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?”

“What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.”

“There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.”

“Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.”

“If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.”

“But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.”

“We are all in this together, by ourselves.”

“I never officially came out in any kind of really public way. I just always lived very simply and openly, but the press has never made a big fuss about me or said anything to me.”