Leslie Jones

“When my brother passed away... I made a decision that I might die soon, and if I die, I want people to know who I really am.”

“They redid 'Roots,' and everyone was saying, 'Oh, it shouldn't have been done.' I was like, 'It definitely should have been done.' Because it needs to be refurbished for the new generation so they can understand it.”

“Think about back in the day when we had Archie Bunker, 'The Jeffersons.' We had stuff to sit down and share and laugh at. The Internet has made it so we don't have to sit together anymore. It's so self-absorbed. No one has to talk to each other anymore, and people don't realize that that is killing us.”

“I met the CEO of Twitter.”

“I can't be intimidated by anyone wearing a housecoat.”

“People used to call me names, so my mom had this beautiful African lady come talk to me.”

“I've perfected the art of busting on people. That's how comedians show each other love.”

“I know I'm fly - don't get me wrong. But I don't look, like, standard Hollywood. As a comedian, it's something you learn to use.”

“As soon as I touched the mic, I knew that's what I would do for the rest of my life.”

“Unfortunately, I'm used to the insults.”

“I get real brave when I text people. When I text people, I am so brave because it's words, but you can't say stuff.”

“The big percentage is us, the real people, and we have to say something. You have to speak up. You have to.”

“My job is to bring the tickle. I know what's funny.”

“I love the people at my job. I love my boss. I love my camera men, I love my crew - because they all surrounded me with straight love.”

“You know what makes me mad about 'The Bachelorette?' That, you know, that that chick would get a man. Get me a date.”

“I've been six feet tall since the sixth grade.”

“When you're writing a sketch, it has to be surrounded by a situation. It can't just be out of the air.”

“Bill Murray was just so funny to me - there wasn't anything spooking him.”

“It takes a real designer to design for real women.”

“I always knew about comedy; I always loved comedy.”