Lee Mack

“I'm not opposed to the consumption of alcohol. I'm opposed to my kids watching TV at seven o'clock and being told to bet and drink.”

“When I was little, I used to get a comic - 'Cheeky Weekly' - which was a weekly comic whose main character was Cheeky. I used to get 'Roy of the Rovers,' too.”

“Cancun - the locals were fantastic, but it was full of the worst kind of Americans.”

“But it's true, I was a sports organiser at Pontins - one of a series of terrible jobs I had before I started doing comedy full time.”

“I'd been travelling in Romania. It was 1990, just after the revolution and you couldn't buy anything so we'd been eating basic food. We went to McDonald's and, I'm ashamed to say, it was wonderful. I hate McDonald's normally.”

“Not Going Out's jokes were based on the American mentality in terms of how often the jokes appear.”

“I've realised that my strength is writing around people.”

“For me, I wanted to write a book about getting into comedy. That's what I wanted to write.”

“There are probably about 50 comedians who would come to my 50th birthday party but I'm not sure how many of them would come to my funeral.”

“The truth is that I don't really understand the concept of having an old-fashioned sense of humour, because to me fashion is about clothes not comedy.”

“My family were nothing but pleased when I told them I wanted to be a comedian.”

“I've never been able to keep my finger on the pulse of fashion.”

“When I tell a joke, I don't think about who's listening to it. I tell the jokes I think are funny.”

“I'm terrified of flying and have tried everything from prescription drugs to booze and herbal remedies. The only thing that works is Valium. I don't know why I'm so frightened - I think it's from seeing my mum freak out when I was young.”

“I never have fixed subjects that I discuss on stage. I never go on with any particular subjects in mind.”

“It's always been my favourite show and I am on a mission to get on 'Doctor Who.'”

“Neck-down comedy was no longer valid after the 1980s alternative comedy revolution. Everything became about the cerebral. And with that came positive things - it helped get rid of some of the sexism and homophobia - but it also meant a lot of physical comedy was lost.”

“The default position now is that comedians do Twitter but I don't know why. Every bad story you see about a comedian has a connection to Twitter.”

“Telling lies is the easy bit, but telling the truth and pretending you are lying is hard.”

“I know comedians who go on weird day trips in order to have random experiences they can talk about. They'll go on their own to Thorpe Park waiting for something hilarious to happen. That's really sad.”