Laurence Sterne

“—I won't go about to argue the point with you,—'tis so,—and I am persuaded of it, madam, as much as can be, "That both man and woman bear pain or sorrow, (and, for aught I know, pleasure too) best in a horizontal position.”

“I take a simple view of life. It is keep your eyes open and get on with it.”

“There have been no sects in the Christian world, however absurd, which have not endeavoured to support their opinions by arguments drawn from Scripture.”

“I could wish to spy the nakedness of their hearts, and through the different disguises of customs, climates, and religion, find out what is good in them, to fashion my own by. It is for this reason that I have not seen the Palais Royal - nor the facade of the Louvre - nor have attempted to swell the catalogues we have of pictures, statues, and churches - I conceive every fair being as a temple, and would rather enter in, and see the original drawings and loose sketches hung up in it, than the Transfiguration of Raphael itself.”

“Human nature is the same in all professions.”

“I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were about when they begot me.”

“When the heart flies out before the understanding, it saves the judgment a world of pains.”

“I am this month one whole year older than I was this time twelve-month; and having got, as you perceive, almost into the middle of my fourth volume—and no farther than to my first day's life—'tis demonstrative that I have three hundred and sixty-four days more life to write just now, than when I first set out; so that instead of advancing, as a common writer, in my work with what I have been doing at it—on the contrary, I am just thrown so many volumes back—”

“I have undertaken, you see, to write not only my life, but my opinions also; hoping and expecting that your knowledge of my character, and of what kind of a mortal I am, by the one, would give you a better relish for the other: As you proceed further with me, the slight acquaintance which is now beginning betwixt us, will grow into familiarity; and that, unless one of us is in fault, will terminate in friendship.”

“But this is neither here nor there why do I mention it? Ask my pen, it governs me, I govern not it.”

“Of all duties, prayer certainly is the sweetest and most easy.”

“An English man does not travel to see English men.”

“A dwarf who brings a standard along with him to measure his own size, take my word, is a dwarf in more articles than one.”

“Lessons of wisdom have the most power over us when they capture the heart through the groundwork of a story, which engages the passions.”

“Only the brave know how to forgive; it is the most refined and generous pitch of virtue human nature can arrive at.”

“In all unmerciful actions, the worst of men pay this compliment at least to humanity, as to endeavour to wear as much of the appearance of it, as the case will well let them.”

“Courtship consists in a number of quiet attentions, not so pointed as to alarm, nor so vague as not to be understood.”

“The most accomplished way of using books is to serve them as some people do lords; learn their titles and then brag of their acquaintance.”

“Keyholes are the occasions of more sin and wickedness, than all other holes in this world put together.”

“Only the brave know how to forgive... a coward never forgave; it is not in his nature.”