Kiki J.P. Deering

“I wish I had someone I could call without feeling guilty. Someone I could tell about my day, about the weird things going on in my head, the poems I’m thinking about writing, and they would listen and care and tell me about how their cat has gone to throwing up in their shoes, and the way the fall leaves make them feel, about how hard it’s been lately. We could both share, and feel heard. We could both listen, and feel understood. I just want a connection that doesn’t feel one sided.”

“I don’t understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in them do. How your best friend become your worst enemy. Or how strange it is when your worst enemy turns into your best friend. How forever turns into a few short months that you’d do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn’t live without. How even though you know something is best for you, it hurts just the same. How the people who once wanted to spend every second of their time with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises despite how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives just because it’s easier than working things out.”

“I waited for you. I shouldn't have.But that's my problem. I'm alwayswaiting for you. For everyone. Butno one waits for me. I stay back, when everyone has moved on, andwait for you to come along. BecauseI don't want you to be alone. I don't like to be alone, so I don't want you to feel that way either. But you won'twait for me. That's okay. I'm used tobeing alone. Don't worry. I'll still waitfor you. I won't leave you alone.”

“It hurts when you realize you aren’t as important to someone as you thought you were.Deep inside Where nothing’s fine I’ve lost my mind”