Kathy Lette

“I told myself that it took forty-two facial muscles to frown and only four to stretch out my arm and bitch-slap the witch.”

“I blame Mother Nature two-faced bitch and Father Time bloody bastard .Yep those misogynistic killjoys have cut off my pocket money and left me grounded.With those two authoritarian heavyweights ganging up what chance does a woman have I aks you”

“Well if manners maketh man make-up maketh woman.And we don't need a phalanx of behavioural scientists to explain why man judge women by their looks.Because the see bether than thay think.”

“It's not Life that begans at forty, it's Death- Victoria”

“People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.”

“When you've been around as long as me, Lucy, you'll know that there are three types of sex... One - brand-new, kitchen-table sex. Two - bedroom sex. Then number three - hallway sex, when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'Fuck you.'" - Lockie”