Karl Kraus

“How is the world ruled and led to war? Diplomats lie to journalists and believe these lies when they see them in print.”

“Science is spectral analysis. Art is light synthesis.”

“Do not learn more than you absolutely need to get through life.”

“A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer.”

“When a man is treated like a beast, he says, 'After all, I'm human.' When he behaves like a beast, he says 'After all, I'm only human.'”

“It is better not to express what one means than to express what one does not mean.”

“My unconscious knows more about the consciousness of the psychologist than his consciousness knows about my unconscious.”

“Sex education is legitimate in that girls cannot be taught soon enough how children don't come into the world.”

“You'd be surprised how hard it can often be to translate an action into an idea.”

“Morality is a venereal disease. Its primary stage is called virtue; its secondary stage, boredom; its tertiary stage, syphilis.”

“Scandal begins when the police put a stop to it.”

“A fine world in which man reproaches woman with fulfilling his heart's desire!”

“A child learns to discard his ideals, whereas a grown-up never wears out his short pants.”

“I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up.”

“Jealousy is a dog's bark which attracts thieves.”

“To me all men are equal: there are jackasses everywhere, and I have the same contempt for them all.”

“Children play soldier. That makes sense. But why do soldiers play children?”

“There is no more unfortunate creature under the sun than a fetishist who yearns for a woman's shoe and has to settle for the whole woman.”

“Psychoanalysis is that mental illness for which it regards itself as therapy.”

“Feminine passion is to masculine as an epic is to an epigram.”