Joseph Epstein

“I am the heterosexual Truman Capote.”

“By the way, the secret of speaking French is confidence. Whether you are right or wrong, you don't hesitate.”

“Not to like ice cream is to show oneself uninterested in food.”

“No one has really ever defined what a friend is.”

“I just know so many people who have six or seven foreign languages and have read everything and have musical training and they are still dorks.”

“I know how many days in which I have just answered e-mail, had three phone calls and a two hour lunch. Poof, gone. They are not infrequent.”

“One serious drawback about letters is that, in order to get them, one must send some out. When it comes to the mail, I feel it is better to receive than to give.”

“Envy is never general, but always very particular - at least envy of the kind one feels strongly.”