John Witherspoon

“When we did 'Boomerang,' which is one of my favorite scenes, the whole dinner scene was ad-libbed.”

“There's a real outcry out there for 'The Boondocks.'”

“I didn't change my voice for 'The Boondocks.'”

“That's my father's theme. Get up in the morning, 'hello, Dad.' 'Get a job, leave the food alone... Who took my car?' America, you young kids, get a job. All that sagging, the clothes hanging behind, that ain't nothing. Get a job. You want to be somebody, get a job.”

“When you're hungry, everything tastes good.”

“In 'Boomerang,' they didn't have a script at all, they just told me to come up with some stuff.”

“If I hit the lotto, I would be nowhere near the road. But I got bills to pay.”

“I'm every father. I'm not only a black father. I'm a white father. I'm a Chinese father. I'm a Mexican father. I'm all fathers that want their sons out of the house and stop eating up all the food. Get a job, please. Stop looking at the TV.”

“My father was a preacher so I wouldn't sing at all when he was around, but as soon as he locked the door, 'La la la.'”

“When you're poor, an egg sandwich is dinner and you cut your potatoes with a butter knife.”

“St. Louis is an excellent city.”

“If something is too risque, don't watch it.”

“The kids of America, please get a damn job. Get out of the house, leave the refrigerator alone. Stop wearing my shoes. Leave my shirts alone, get a job. Spend your own money.”

“Men are not generally sufficiently aware of the distinction between the law of God and his purpose; they are apt to suppose, that as the temper of the sinner is contrary to the one, so the outrages of the sinner are able to defeat the other; than which nothing can be more false.”

“I always tell comics you got to hang with your stand-up.”

“Never read a book through merely because you have begun it.”

“I am old-school.”

“Being on the toilet stool is the grossest thing there is, to me.”

“I'm sick of all these boring cooking shows.”

“I am cantankerous.”