Joey Diaz

“I love Houston.”

“People die millionaires. All your life, you're gonna stress money?”

“I lived in my car in Hollywood for a year, and then it got towed. My... apartment got towed. How... does that happen?”

“Hey, I'm not rich, but I'm lucky. I get to do what I want to do. That's not an easy thing to do in this country.”

“I'm a stand-up comic, but I also have ideas, and I want to get them out. People think getting in front of the mic is the only way to work out. You've got to try different situations.”

“I just showed up at the Comedy Store. You keep showing up, and you keep showing up, and eventually, somebody notices.”

“I was just coming out of prison, I was married, and I had a kid, and I didn't know what to do, so I tried stand-up.”

“If I see an audition for a show or a movie, I'll send a tape in. I attack it. The whole time, I'm booking comedy, so no matter what, I always got that coming in. I'm always working on my craft.”

“I'm Hispanic. I'm a Catholic. I believe in God. I believe in karma.”

“I thought I would be an extra one time in a movie. And I would have been happy with that.”