Joey Comeau

“Wait," I say. "Aren't soulmates supposed to be perfect? What if you find yours and shes not a virgin, not even a girl? What if he's a fixer upper? What if he has an STD?”

“I can't believe he stabbed the guy. Eight years old. I'm the most irresponsible kidnapper ever.”

“Having all the answers just means you've been asking boring questions.”

“It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty. I am gonna drink it through this crazy straw.”

“There's something not quite Christian about it," Tony said. He sat back in his chair and looked up to where his Bible sat on the shelf. "I can't put my finger on why exactly, but it doesn't seem right for a couple of young ladies to be out there in the middle of the night, obsessing over their telescopes.”