Jo Brand

“I don't hold any candle for drama versus comedy.”

“I think my comedy, the put-downs I do to hecklers, are the accumulated bitterness of years of people feeling that it's perfectly acceptable to make a comment on your appearance when they don't even know you.”

“My personal opinion is that you can't be racist towards white people. You can be prejudiced about them, but being prejudiced isn't an illegal act, whereas being racist can be.”

“My mum is bright, ambitious, well read, political and very bolshie: when my dad was conscripted into the Army and posted to Libya, she convinced some general to let her go with him. I don't know how she managed it.”

“I used to get nervous about three weeks before a gig... now I've managed to condense it down to a manageable ten minutes.”

“If you're a fat person - and especially if you're a woman - at all stages of your life you'll get abuse for it, so you have to work out a way of dealing with it. The best way is to be humorous about it - that defuses any tension.”

“I'm just trying to spread the word and upturn the myth that actually you should be resting after cancer treatment. You shouldn't; you should be getting out and doing any kind of exercise you can. You don't have to run a marathon, but you just have to up your activity levels.”

“I've always liked to think I could do anything I wished as well as - if not better than - a man. But I wasn't very good at rally driving.”

“I'm not a flag waver for obesity. It's not healthy, and you have a crap life because there is such a downer on it.”

“They say revenge is a dish best eaten cold, but for most people, by the time it's ready to eat, they just don't fancy it any more.”

“When you cry, you don't look very attractive; you look snotty and blotchy. People seem to manage to cry quite prettily these days, and to me, that smacks of not being very genuine.”

“Being Christian towards poor people means trying to improve their lives and give them back some self-respect.”

“I wasn't one of those hideous children who make their parents sit through hour-long performances when you're seven. I didn't do anything like that thankfully.”

“We women continue to swallow this line that it's unladylike or even proof of being a lesbian if you wear flat shoes like Doc Martens. I'm prepared to put up with that accusation, because at least my feet aren't killing me and I don't look like a bandy ostrich.”

“A lot of people do that kind of nostalgia stuff believing that they were very happy in their teenage years, but that's probably just an illusion.”

“I've seen a lot of women give up after they've had three or four bad gigs in a row. It's very difficult to learn not to take nasty heckles personally.”

“To me, a politician's job is to listen to constituents' problems and try to sort them out.”

“Does anyone really go into nursing intending to be apathetic, cold and removed from suffering? I find that very difficult to believe.”

“It's actually very hard when you're settled in one place to completely uproot yourself and go.”

“I've never trained as an actor. I've always thought I'm not a good actor. I've been told I'm not a good actor by a lot of people.”