Jimmy Breslin

“Newspapers are so boring. How can you read a newspaper that starts with a 51-word lead sentence?”

“The number one rule of thieves is that nothing is too small to steal.”

“Life never was long enough to provide time for enemies. Nor is it long enough for people who bore me, or for me to stand around boring and antagonizing others, or for all of us, the others and me, to get into these half-friendly, half-sour fender-bumpings of egos and personalities and ideas, a process which turns a day into a contest when it really should be a series of hours serving your pleasure.”

“Media, the plural of mediocrity.”

“I'm on my high school football team and MUST show how much I know.”

“If a man, for private profit, tears at the public news, does so with the impatience of one who thinks he actually owns the news you get, it is against the national interest.”

“As far as getting publicity whenever he wants it, Trump is the white Al Sharpton.”

“A politician finds anything to do with racial problems far more frightening than a gun.”

“Don't call me a journalist; I hate the word. It's pretentious!”

“Politics, where fat, bald, disagreeable men, unable to be candidates themselves, teach a president how to act on a public stage.”

“Trump, in the crinkling of an eye, senses better than anyone the insecurity of people, that nobody knows whether anything is good or bad until they are told, and he is quite willing to tell them immediately.”

“I busted out of the place in a hurry and went to a saloon and drank beer and said that for the rest of my life I'd never take a job in a place where you couldn't throw cigarette butts on the floor. I was hooked on this writing for newspapers and magazines.”

“Trump survives by Corum's Law. This is a famous, well-tested theory and is named after Bill Corum, who once wrote sports for the Hearst papers when they were in New York.”

“Don't try to tell Namath's people on First Avenue about Babe Ruth, because they don't even know the name. In fact, with the young, you can forget all of baseball. The sport is gone. But if you ever have seen Ruth, and then you see Namath, you know there is very little difference.”

“Donald Trump handles these nitwit reporters with a new and most disgraceful form of bribery.”

“Complainant received immediate lacerations of the credibility.”

“You can get some work, some jobs that will bore you until you're dead. So you better look for something that's got a little tingle to it.”

“Never use your own money. Steal a good idea and say it's your own. Do anything to get publicity. Remember that everybody can be bought.”

“When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.”

“Some time ago, I made a basic decision about the way in which I was going to live the little of life available to me The idea was to place myself in the presence of only those people who give off the warm, friendly vibrations which soothe the coating on my nerves. Life never was long enough to provide time for enemies.”