Jim Breuer

“When you have three teenage girls, and you're married 21 years, and have a mother who's blind in one eye and has dementia who lives with you, and your dad has worse dementia, and you're into metal, and your wife is born again, you're never running out of material.”

“I was hoping for big TV, film, and this and that, but stand-up was the only thing I knew.”

“If I can bring you to the point where you're almost in tears one minute and laughing so hard the next and you've healed a bit at the same time, that's when I get to use the gift I was given.”

“My eyelids cover half my face.”

“The faith world to me is like a radio station. It's there. And if you want to plug in and listen to it, kind of tune into it, it can definitely be helpful. I don't know if it's an energy? I don't know what it is, but it fascinates me.”

“I met Jack Nicholson, who lived up to his persona, and when we met, he lifted the sunglasses he was wearing at 2 in the morning, and giggling, he told me, 'You look the way I feel all the time.'”

“I don't follow politics. I don't read news and I don't watch TV.”

“People are surprised that I'm married.”

“You'll very rarely hear me curse now. I think I've changed since I've had children.”

“Laughter is what connects pretty much all pain.”

“I was a very naive kid. I didn't know there were people living in closets in Hollywood.”

“Before I even got 'Saturday Night Live,' I was already known as the furthest thing from a goat boy. I had a stand-up routine, which I was all ready to do on HBO, before 'Saturday Night Live,' so if my routine was dependent on being a goat, I would want to quit.”

“Hannibal Buress keeps popping up. His delivery cracks me up. He's smart and funny.”

“Everywhere I go, I feel the city out. I walk around and get there early, and I go off the cuff with whatever's going on in town.”

“If you can step back and laugh at yourself and at a situation, it's healing.”

“You can't judge people for what you see for two seconds.”

“One of the things I did, I would go, 'Dad, I know you don't know how to work YouTube, but wait until you see this concert. I found Hank Williams in 1940. And look at this.' Then that brings on memories and it brings happiness and it gives him a little extra breath in life.”

“I tell it like it is, stuff pretty much everyone can relate to.”

“I was very blue collar, and I had a great upbringing.”

“I have a weird fan base, people from all over the place for some reason.”