Jessica Esquivel

“We want to make a cultural shift in physics, and we have laid out seven strategic goals. They include hiring Black scientists, restructuring leadership and decision-making entities, and investing in Black communities.”

“I think there was a lack of understanding around the police killings and how they mentally and emotionally affect Black people. But I think my colleagues are listening and want to learn, and the lab is responsive.”

“Jedidah Isler visited Syracuse, and she reached out to me to have lunch. I wasn't doing well—I had failed my quals—but the fact that this prestigious Black woman physicist reached out to me made an impression. I was embarrassed to go, but her candor and vulnerability about going through these spaces that were not built for us helped me understand that it was not my fault that I didn't fit in. Meeting with her validated my feelings. We discussed impostor syndrome. We discussed finances.”

“People say the South is racist, but it wasn't until I moved north that I was really barraged with microaggressions on a daily basis. One instance was when I was sick and missed a couple of days of classes. This was reported to my adviser as my having missed weeks of coursework. When I was in class I was ignored, but when I was not there I stuck out like a sore thumb. It's hard to separate your microaggressions when you deal with intersecting minoritized identities. Was it because I was the only woman? The only Black person? The only Mexican? The only lesbian?”

“For me, physics isn't physics without outreach.”

“You learn as you go, and I think the most important thing to remember is that you are not your failures. That was a hard pill for me to swallow and something I'm still working through but the scientific process is built on failing! We have a theory, we test it, and a lot of the times that theory is wrong. That doesn't mean you aren't smart or you shouldn't continue testing other theories! Scientific exploration would come to a screeching halt if at every failed theory a scientist would quit.”

“As a lesbian, seeing Fermilab make such a visible and intentional stand for LGBTQIA+ physicists, technicians, and engineers at the lab is just another way of fostering an inclusive work environment.”

“While to a certain extent, I do agree that organizations will thrive with a more diverse workforce due to the difference in experience and the ways in which we all think, we not only have to focus efforts on recruitment but also retention, and to do the latter, there needs to be a cultural shift at the organizational level.”

“That number is still so jarring to me. I found out that there were only about 150 black women with a PhD in physics while in graduate school. I was on the verge of quitting. I was having such a hard time keeping up with my studies and just belonging. I was the only black, Latina, and lesbian in my classes. I stood out like a sore thumb, and I felt isolated. I also didn't feel a sense of belonging at the university or city level. The micro-aggressions I encountered, not only in the classroom but going to the mall or getting groceries, were so exhausting!”

“Once I got to college and took my first college-level course, I knew that physics was what I wanted to study. I learned about quantum superposition and Schrodinger's cat. It blew my mind, and as they say, the rest is history!”

“Many of us who are underrepresented in STEM have taken on the responsibility of spearheading institutional change toward more just, equitable, and inclusive working environments as a form of survival, I'm putting in more work on top of the research I do because I recognize that I do better research if I feel supported and if I feel like I can bring my whole self to my job. My hope is that one day Black and brown women and gender-queer folks interested in science can pursue just that and not have to fight for their right to be a scientist or defend that they are worthy of doing science.”

“The secrets of our universe don't discriminate, these secrets can and should be unraveled by all those who wish to embark on that journey, and my aim is to clear as many barriers and leave these physics spaces better than I entered them.”