Jerry Lewis

“The greatest thing I can remember in my whole career was the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey clowns asking me to appear with them at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles in 1965.”

“I was once six feet tall, but at 85, I'm now five feet four.”

“I never got a formal education. So my intellect is my common sense. I don't have anything else going for me. And my common sense opens the door to instinct.”

“You would not believe some of the scripts I have seen. I have read something like 160 that I've rejected, and I keep them all, for posterity.”

“My dad was a stickler for teaching me the pratfall. There is something magical about taking a good fall, and when it works, when you get that laugh, there's no better feeling in the world.”

“You can't hold comedy back, because it needs to be exposed.”

“I've raised my boys the old-fashioned way, with spankings, sending them upstairs if they misbehave at parties, the works. I believe discipline is the proof of love.”

“I started as a writer. I had the dumb act, but I made my living from writing.”

“I almost get annoyed at the fact that I'm not going to use all that I got.”

“I've never been more than 9 years old.”

“When you get a question like, 'Did you like meeting Her Majesty?' 'No, I thought she was a slob.' I mean, what are you going to say... The mischief comes into me when I'm doing a Q&A, I'm 9 years old again. I don't get mad. I do get offended.”

“I learned from my dad that when you walk in front of an audience, they are the kings and queens, and you're but the jester.”

“A wonderful thing happens over time. You fall in love with the sound of your own voice.”

“I don't want to be remembered. I want the nice words when I can hear them.”

“I'm an unusual man. I know that.”

“Marilyn Monroe was a fabulous dame - fabulous.”

“People think I'm against critics because they are negative to my work. That's not what bothers me. What bothers me is they didn't see the work. I have seen critics print stuff about stuff I cut out of the film before we ran it. So don't tell me about critics.”

“I go where the action is.”

“I think it has helped that I am so curious about what has been happening to me and that I have enjoyed watching the changes through my life, you know? I didn't know what was going to happen to me next.”

“I get paid for what most kids get punished for.”