Jen Lancaster

“I don't want to limit myself as a writer. Tastes change, and I want to keep my eye on the future.”

“If forced to choose between a book and a Kindle, I'd opt for the comfort and ease of bound pages. I mean, I can't break a book if I drop it on a cement floor.”

“To be clear, I'm not opposed to apps; I just want them to be geared to my lifestyle. I don't need a virtual NASCAR racing app, but I'd certainly appreciate one that stopped my husband from plowing into the lawnmower every time he pulls into the garage.”

“I am going to embarrass myself. I have accepted that fact, and that's just how it's going to be.”

“Expressing political opinion can be a powerful way to establish a character's voice when writing fiction.”

“When I got laid off, I would write my friends these 15-page-long emails. This was before people had personal emails, and my friends would tell me that I was going to get them fired if I kept sending them stuff, so I started a website.”

“I learned to speak Italian, somewhat. Definitely enough to get around in Italy. My grandfather always used to swear at my grandmother in Italian.”

“I stuff another handful of Raisinets in my mouth. What gets me is the 'pretty face' bit. 'Cause I won't mind being reminded I'm fat as long as you water it down first. Why not say, Hey I'm going to insult you, but first I will congratulate your fortunate genetics and appropriate appliclation of Bobbi Brown cosmetics to prevent you from hitting me. Sh*t; I kind of prefer being called a 'fat bitch.' At least it doesn't pull any punches.”

“I could manage my life so much better if an app could tell me exactly when my parcels will be delivered so I don't spend the day under virtual house arrest.”

“You can't all of a sudden go to sleep one night and wake up Martha Stewart. It's bit by bit by bit.”

“Amen,' I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says a month from now I'll have forgotten about it and will finally have said heart attack when I assume a rat shat in there.”

“Writing is something that I've always loved. That stems from my love of being a reader.”

“I married a man who isn't afraid to wash a dish, scrub a toilet, or have his unibrow waxed into submission by a licensed professional.”

“No one wants to friend or follow covert info about Pakistan's nuclear policy.”

“I like Oprah. I could sit around and make vision boards all day, but I wouldn't actually get anything done if I were to concentrate on my feelings rather than doing.”

“I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light.”

“I didn't understand the Kindle's true value until I finished an e-book on the beach. In sixty seconds - and without benefit of pants - I had brand-new reading material at my fingertips.”

“I guess my most prized pop culture possession is a signed first edition of the book 'Fight Club' by Chuck Palahniuk.”

“I just thank God my husband and I found each other before the advent of social media. I can't imagine dating someone and seeing what they're doing on their Facebook page. And people breaking up with each other over texts now? We had to break up with each other face to face back then.”

“I'm doing a lot more handmade gifts. When I go to a party, I cook whatever it is I need to bring instead of just grabbing a bottle of wine.”