Jason Mantzoukas

“There are girls who find the giant beard 'gross' and 'creepy.' I know because they tell me.”

“I completely understand social media as a method of promotion and digesting information, but it just seems like a colossal waste of time to me, and there's a million other ways I'd rather waste my time.”

“Having a giant beard really distracts people from noticing you're barely keeping it together emotionally.”

“I was in band that played mostly covers for a while, and the bands that we would cover were, like, the alternative rock bands of that day: we did a Jane's Addiction song and a Faith No More song. All the kind of alternative radio of that time, the late '80s, basically.”

“When I was a child, I was referred to as the Danny Kaye of the family, because I was always impersonating and mimicking people. I was a song and dance man.”

“A good comedy with a purpose behind it is exhilarating.”

“Maybe it's just my improv and sketch background, but I'm a lot more comfortable in a group. I like sharing focus and populating an ensemble.”

“I've numerous times heard mothers in stores tell their children not to go near me.”

“People know my background and for people who need an improviser, I'm one of the people they think to use if I'm appropriate for the part.”

“Looking the way I look, whenever anybody's looking for a light brown funny guy, I get the call... I'm 100 percent Greek, but I look like I could be Indian or Middle Eastern or Hispanic. If it's ethnic, they'll try and put me in it.”

“At a certain point, I had to be like, 'I will not do any more auditions with a Middle Eastern accent.'”

“It's always nice when people discover I'm a normal person and not, because of my appearance, a half-crazed lunatic who may stab them with a Bic pen.”

“I like antagonizing the audience, poking at them.”

“I was funny in a way that was not dissing the teacher; I was funny just to be funny. A real charmer with a prominent mustache that he didn't know what to do with and a smart-alecky attitude.”