James Hauenstein

“I have heard that the French like to say, "Nobody grows old during a happy occasion at the dining table." With such wonderful family and friends all around us for Mitchell's and Stacie's wedding, I know their love will always stay young and true to one another, because of the love and happiness we all have in this room today!”

“I still believe this Life is a good joke. And if you treat it that way, you will never stop laughing.”

“Women. You have to love them the way they are or they'll drive you insane.”

“The reason I might forget something is because my mind is like a computer. I have so much useless stuff stored up in there, that when I forget to clean out my Mind's Cache, it has no room for new information. Like wearing pants!”

“I loved Verti. Until she jumped. That is when I felt Vertigo.”

“Realize in life that you will have your ups and downs. You can't have those wonderful up moments without the downs. If everything stayed the same all the time, that would be depressing.”

“Have no regrets in life because of the choices you make. Good or bad, they are a learning experience, to help you grow. The only regret in life, is to never make a choice at all.”

“People think I am younger then I really am,because I act so immature.”

“The Dictionary defines Soul Mate as: A person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament. Before I met mine, I didn't know I was bonkers!”

“A life that is happy and has no money, is better then a life unhappy with money.”

“Eye Amost Evr Spel Ah Werd Wong Annymoe, sinc eye goat alto pel”

“Hate is a powerful emotion. It can take over a sane man's mind and cloud it with insanity.”

“My body is like a Temple in Nepal. It is sacred, but has a lot of damage from the earthquake of my youth!”

“Life experiences shared with a friend will turn into memories to be enjoyed.”

“Before you start your full day of watching Equestrian Square Dancing, Soccer Balling, Hoop Dreaming, Cricket Batting, Rugby Punching, Volleyball Chopping, Skateboard Falling, Martial Arts Bowing, Bicycle Peddlers, and College Football Hecklers, maybe we have time to learn somethingScientifically.”

“I have tried to live my life with no regrets. Because regrets will become guilt in some cases, and guilt eats away at your sanity.”

“Sitting there, it is impossible to change your luck. But, you can always change the machine you are at!”

“Be careful when you ask Karma for something that you have always wanted. When I was young, I asked to be surrounded by beautiful women. Now I have a wife and four daughters.”

“When all else fails, there is music. When that fails you, there is beer.”