James Acaster

“I think I can draw both a mainstream audience and an alternative audience to my shows. I also have the ability to disappoint both.”

“My mum is very funny when she wants to be.”

“There were plenty of times before I did stand-up where I needed counselling, but I didn't go because it would have meant I was officially ill.”

“I never liked wrestling, but I thought The Rock was brilliant, and that is a statement to how funny he is that I'd even watch a show that I didn't like just to see him on it.”

“And that, ladies and gentlemen, sums up the Fringe. Spend a year spitting your guts out writing a show, and people forget your name as soon as they walk out.”

“I'm always writing, always working.”

“I really love standup, and I really love writing standup.”

“I thought comedians were the funny guy in the common room, not understanding that the flaws in my personality were actually the funny things about me.”

“Until you get left for Mr. Bean, you don't realise how frequently he pops up. There's a shop two streets from my house that sells masks of his face. There's nowhere where I'm going to go that he's not there.”

“When you're talking about a really horrible personal thing that happened to you... and it doesn't get laughs... I feel really exposed and like I've overshared with some strangers.”

“The Rock was one of my favourite comedy characters growing up, and I still think he is. Mainly because he took himself so seriously by being ridiculous and a buffoon all the time but always took the high status.”

“I thought, 'Anyone can make up a lie, but making the truth funny is really hard.' But I actually had more problems with people believing me when I told the truth on stage.”

“I'm almost able to be more honest by lying. By making everything up, I'm able to say what I really want to.”

“I grew up with interesting and funny people. We made our own fun. You had to use your imagination.”

“My parents are very good examples of Christians. They are big on forgiveness.”

“If people are coming to see me because they like what I do on 'Mock the Week,' that's great because they are coming to see me being me.”

“If people leave the house wanting to see a comedian, they want to see someone speak out for themselves and share true stories from their life.”

“There's no excuse for panel games, other TV comedy shows, or even live bills to be made up mainly of men.”

“You can play a gig as a band and not know that they hated you; with standup, after every line, you know.”

“Everyone was wearing jeans, so I started wearing slacks. I'd walk on, and people would laugh before I got to the mic because I looked stupid.”