Jack Cafferty

“I get paid to ask questions I don't know the answers to and to complain about the things that bother me.”

“Is Anna Nicole Smith still dead?”

“On November 7, 2006, Cafferty called Donald Rumsfeld "an obnoxious jerk and war criminal".”

“I would guess it didn't exactly represent a profile in courage for the vice president to wander over there to the F-word network for a sit down with Brit Hume. I mean, that's a little like Bonnie interviewing Clyde, ain't it?”

“The Arab World is where innocent people are kidnapped, blindfolded, tied up, tortured and beheaded, and then videotape of all of this is released to the world as though they’re somehow proud of their barbarism. Somehow, I wouldn’t be too concerned about the sensitivity of the Arab world. They don’t seem to have very much. It’s going to come down to them or us.”

“Given the way these mutants treat women in their societies, the women are probably better off in U.S. custody. They treat women like furniture in those countries. If I was a woman, I think I’d rather be in an American jail cell than I would be living with one of those-whatever they are over there.”