J.R. Rain

“Tell me, Mrs. Moon, will your need for sustenance trouble you on this excursion? How often do you need to feed?" I couldn't tell whether his interest was scientific, or whether he was afraid I might plunge my teeth into his throat at any moment.”

“Am I right in thinkin' you've maybe been" - he dropped his voice - "the victim of an infamous outrage by the darkies?”

“My first thought was that a tornado had somehow picked me up and carried me off, like in the Wizard of Oz. No old witches pedaled by, and I didn't see any flying farm animals or chicken coops, and after a few agonizing minutes, I fell deep into unconsciousness again.”

“If I hear any more loud voices, you will both be auctioned off on eBay. I could use the extra money.”

“All that Anne Rice crap is true, I thought on my way out the door; New Orleans really does have a vampire problem.Besides me, of course.”

“I put the carpetbag on a ledge, and then, hanging upside down by my razor-clawed feet, slept until sunset. A first for me, and actually quite comfortable.Lord help me.”

“Hell hath no fury like a man embarrassed by a woman”

“I had been a happy normal wife and mother in Orange County until ten years ago, when I was attacked by an evil vampire... and turned into one myself. It's made my life since gross and scary and, let's face it, weird.”