J. B. Smoove

“When you're babysitting a kid, all you're seeing is a version of them, a small dosage.”

“Some of the best dramatic actors have started in comedy.”

“'The ruckus' is different experiences you go through throughout your life which builds your ruckus points up - your tolerance. You've got to have a high tolerance for dealing with stuff all the time.”

“You turn hotdogs with tongs. Don't you ever use those tongs on a hamburger.”

“I was the hallway clown in high school.”

“I steal scenes, I steal opportunities. I am the ultimate thief. I got sticky fingers, man. They all call me The Thief.”

“I think what I do in my acting world and what I do in my standup world is bring up a brand that I want to bring across. Once you figure out your brand and what you do, it's kind of easy at that. You end up getting your audience.”

“I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.”

“People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on.”

“What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.”

“There's book smart, there is street smart, there's relationship smart, there's too many different kinds of smarts to know all of them. Everybody doesn't know every kind of smart. There's money smart, there's movie smart, there's computer smart. There's just too many different kinds of smarts for people to know all the smarts.”

“It's an ongoing joke that a black man is always the first one to get killed in movies.”

“For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place.”

“Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?”

“I don't like to dabble in anything I don't do well. I don't talk politics.”

“You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to me.”

“I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same time, I'm still being J. B. Smoove. I'm not changing up my style, I'm not changing up how I think, what's funny to me, my delivery, the way I carry myself.”

“I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer.”

“Improv relies just as much on listening as it does you delivering dialogue. That's the hard for some people. Some people just concentrate on what they're going to say, and they're not listening. You have to listen in order to see where the other person is going to.”

“I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi somewhere, Ohio somewhere, to New York City for the first time, he don't have the street smarts. You can take him.”