Iain Stirling

“I used to be on a live show with Caroline Flack, and I think I only got on that because I was a comic in Spain and ended up getting on well with her.”

“My father Rodger is your typical 'funny without knowing it' kinda guy. When he says something that creates shock or joy in a room, I love watching his confused face as he tries to work out what it is he did.”

“My stuff is observational, what people do with their lives from the angle of a man that can't pull it off. So if I talk about having a family, it would be through the medium of a man who is in no fit state to be given a child to look after.”

“I guess the argument is you chose to be in the public eye and, therefore, you're giving your life up for a certain level of scrutiny and you've got to accept that. The trade-off between being on 'Love Island' and not being on 'Love Island' is very skewed into the positive.”

“I just feel like 'Love Island' is like a fantasy TV show. We're showing our, sort of, in my opinion, a comedy ideal of what paradise is like.”

“A lot of ones I've really chased and wanted - as a comic, I've always wanted to do a 'Mock The Week' - it's always discussed, but for whatever reason it doesn't happen.”

“I get recognised on the phone because it's harder to cover up your voice than your head. You can put a hat on or something, but I can't do accents.”

“Where I come from, everyone talks like me. It's working-class Edinburgh.”

“I have always been a comedian - that has always been my job and it is what I want to do for a long time to come.”

“The one place I always get recognised for my voice - and this is the God's honest truth - is when I'm at the till in Topman paying for my clothes. Every time.”

“Everything I do sort of goes wrong but I always sort of get away with it.”

“I can deal with having a terrible night on stage in front a bunch of Glaswegians but not a bunch of Glaswegians and my mum and dad.”

“In 2005, I remember being told that I could get a job wherever I wanted.”

“Well, there are more job prospects after 'Love Island'.”

“I definitely enjoyed it and I am glad I did university - four years of not being in the public eye - and I met all my best friends doing it, so I am definitely glad it happened.”

“But with voice-over on a reality TV show, I think I'm pretty up there, maybe one of the best. It's a confidence boost, which helps my stand-up because I'll try more interesting stuff.”

“You will always worry - a wee lad from Edinburgh going up on stage in Glasgow.”

“I probably wouldn't be doing comedy, if it wasn't for the fact that I was doing stand-up and getting a few gigs, while I was also applying for law internships and getting absolutely nothing.”

“I've always been blown away by how unique Brian Limond's mind is.”

“Children are brutal and have no malice, which makes everything they say horribly cutting.”