Gyles Brandreth

“And the purpose of small talk is not to be controversial, clever or even interesting. It's simply to fill the silent void with a small gesture of common humanity. It's a spoken smile, a verbal handshake.”

“I did once talk non-stop for 12 and a half hours, but it was to raise money for a worthwhile charity. At least, that's my excuse.”

“Prince Philip protected the Queen and made her laugh.”

“When it comes to personal communication, words are all we've got. It is the simple use of language that makes us human beings.”

“People find communication in families difficult - games can help with that.”

“I don't poo-pooh anyone's knighthood or other honors.”

“Bob Hope said: 'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.' And while this quote is generally amusing, it is even more amusing when you know he said that when he was old.”

“I know I'm hated. Or rather, that people struggle with dislike for me.”

“People are always asking me on to quizzes - they think I know all the answers because I burble on so, but I don't do terribly well.”

“I thought I would be Prime Minister.”

“Being made redundant is a personal tragedy.”

“I am interested in the Oscar Wilde we don't know.”

“I'm grateful for laughter of any kind, but it can be off-putting if one person is laughing at a different time or in a different way from the rest of the audience.”

“We're only here once and there are lots of things I want to do.”

“Greyfriars School is like Hogwarts School in the Harry Potter stories and the whole world of magic is the world of J.M.Barrie.”

“I think the Duke of Edinburgh would have been pleasantly surprised by the reaction to his death.”

“There is an invisible moat around the senior royals.”

“The essence of democracy is that you can kick people out.”

“The Queen is frequently on her own, walking the dogs, riding her horses, playing patience, completing a jigsaw, sorting her photograph albums, watching television, phoning friends, doing the Telegraph crossword. Is she neglected? Is she suffering? Or does she simply understand her man?”

“If you're the Queen you don't need to say anything and you don't get into trouble. If you're the Duke of Edinburgh you say a lot of things, sometimes too many, and you do get into trouble.”