Greg Gutfeld

“In the old days feminists would mock women who depended so much on a man. Today if the man is the government, not so much. A man who opens the door for you is a Neanderthal; a bureaucrat who pays for your pills? A hero.”

“The frothing Trump-haters' extremism turns whatever criticism they have for the guy into mere parody.”

“As machines take over the decision-making that saves lives, we are left with fewer chances to save lives later.”

“I think the reason why 'Red Eye' is popular is because we question the common assumptions that you find elsewhere.”

“The good and bad thing about online trolling: it's not on the street, and it's not on the street! The good: nothing physical erupts; the bad: there are no brakes to stop it.”

“There's a difference between being politically incorrect and boorish. And we've seen that line crossed a dozen times by smart people who've mistaken politics for punditry.”

“No one wants a lecture when you're getting a latte. So if you get one without asking, isn't that grounds for some discipline?”

“It's pointless to get all huffy about stuff.”

“Listening to a FNM record is like a visit from a mysterious relative who knows more about your family than you did.”

“Now that President Trump is a reality, I happily have been giving him a chance to see how he does.”

“Here is the problem with legacy: You'll sacrifice stuff that is not even yours to get it. Take President Obama's Iran deal, when he gave the shirt off his back - and ours, too.”

“It takes a special, selfless person to make music that accommodates the universal need for mindless escapism - or what I call oblivion.”

“Thanks to an immersive lifestyle that involves Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, we've created a psychological three-sided mirror for our social impact on others.”

“I hate 'Rolling Stone' - because I loved it so much. I had the 'Cheap Tricks' cover and the Clash cover on my wall for years, and I just hate what happened to it. It just became the smarmy grad student that sits next to you on the bus.”

“The girls I dated liked or disliked me, whether I weighed 140 or 150; and six-pack abs had no relevance on their love or repulsion.”

“Something to keep in mind, whether you adore Obama or Trump: Drooling toadyism is not a good look on either side, and it paves the way for evil. Because while hate can drive people to do many things, love permits leaders to do all things - none of them good.”

“The federal government is enormous; it never shrinks. And the interest is killing us.”

“The bands I like are not obscure at all. Far from it.”

“In the American 'melting pot,' identity politics wants to smash that pot - to bring us back to the Dark Ages, when collaboration was sparse.”

“If you can have a skewed sense of your body, it stands to reason you could develop the same kind of thing about your relationships with others in a social network.”