Graham Chapman

“I can't talk to a man who bears an undeserved animosity towards ferrets.”

“John Howard Davies was not a very human person... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.”

“When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled.”

“There is no cannibalism in the British navy, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount.”

“World War II... did not happen to everyone, but it happened to most. There were people from Germany who were throwing bombs at us.”

“It's nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others.”

“Henry KissingerHow I'm missing yerYou're the Doctor of my dreamsWith your crinkly hair and your glassy stareAnd your Machiavellian schemesI know they say that you are very vainAnd short and fat and pushyBut at least you're not insaneHenry KissingerHow I'm missing yerAnd wishing you were hereHenry KissingerHow I'm missing yerYou're so chubby and so neatWith your funny clothes and your squishy noseYou're like a German parakeetAll right so people say that you don't careBut you've got nicer legs than HitlerAnd bigger tits than CherHenry KissingerHow I'm missing yerAnd wishing you were here”

“McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories.McGough: Really? When?Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time ...”

“We don't deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it's justified.”

“All ideas come about through some sort of observation. It sparks an attitude; some object or emotion causes a reaction in the other person.”

“Stormy in love, stormy in interviews, breakfast in bed - that's me, love.”

“You know, Python should have won a Grammy for our musical work on the show.”

“We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!”

“Dressing up as decrepit old ladies, and even decrepit young ladies, was one of our staples.”

“Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!”

“Health care does not worry me a great deal. I've been impressed by some wonderful old people.”

“I hope I will have achieved something lasting.”

“Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?”

“Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it's more or less inevitable.”

“If life seems jolly rotten, There’s something you’ve forgotten.”