Gina Barreca

“Until we’re pushing up daisies, it might be good to remind ourselves daily that everything’s coming up roses — for me and for you.”

“From age 16 to age 20, a woman's body is a temple. From 21 to 45, it's an amusement park. From 45 on, it's a terrarium.”

“Like love, breakfast is best when made at home.”

“Maturity understands that there’s darkness in the world but that there’s no need to dwell in it: we can lighten up and offer illumination to others.”

“My mother thinks Mick Jagger is a foreign car.”

“In short, immaturity is spoiled. And what is spoiled doesn’t ripen. It goes bad early, gets bitter and withers on the vine.”

“I see taking care of my emotional and mental health in the same way that I see taking care of a garment: After it's been through wear and tear, it needs attention.”

“To slur “feminism” into “humanism” is to usurp women’s voices once again, to make the singular feminine into the so-called universal masculine.”

“My cat is older than many fashion models. I won't even discuss the fact that she also weighs more.”

“Almost 30 years ago, I started seeking help from a counselor with a master's of social work in New York City, but we were never a good match. It was like being in a bad relationship, except the guy could actually bill my health insurance company for lousy dates.”

“Women feel like we're fat if we can't wear the clothes we wore in high school. Men, in contrast, only start to feel fat only when they can no longer fit into a foreign car.”

“...there is a celebrated aphorism insisting that the best way to live is to 'work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, and love like you've never been hurt.'...After years of hearing and reading these lines I have decided to tell the truth: the original version is wrong. There is a grave error in the wording of this adage. The correct version should go as follows:Love like you don't need the money,Work like nobody is watching,Dance like you've never been hurt.See? Doesn't that make more sense?”

“I passed my classes because I displayed effort, not because I learned math. But how can we help young people understand life rarely gives partial credit for effort, especially if that effort doesn't lead to understanding or success?”

“It's hard to talk about love because most of the time, we have no idea what we're talking about.”

“Sometimes things can take a very long time and still not be very good. It took us all of evolutionary history just to get where we are today, for instance, and mostly where we are today is on the couch.”

“Every patient tends to bury the most important story inside some other story, just the way new writers often 'bury the lede.' 'Burying the lede' is an old journalism term for when you only find out the real point about halfway into the article, but it also applies to therapy.”

“Comics know that time plus pain equals humor and that we can redeem even awful moments from the past by translating them into a shared experience.”

“How about "diamonds are a girl's best friends"? Nope. It should be switched around and pointed out, instead, that your best friends are diamonds.”

“My longing to improve my looks via The Body Shop is being replaced by my longing to improve my looks via Photoshop.”

“It’s only when you’re at the bottom of the ladder that you ascend.”