George Ade

“Early to bed and early to rise is a bad rule for anyone who wishes to become acquainted with our most prominent and influential people.”

“A good jolly is worth what you pay for it.”

“A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words.”

“Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant.”

“A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.”

“Nothing is improbable until it moves into past tense.”

“She was short on intellect, but long on shape.”

“Only the more rugged mortals should attempt to keep up with current literature.”

“If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.”

“To insure peace of mind ignore the rules and regulations.”

“After being Turned Down by numerous Publishers, he had decided to write for Posterity.”

“One man's poison ivy is another man's spinach.”

“Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.”

“For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver.”

“In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.”

“After being turned down by numerous publishers, he decided to write for posterity.”

“It is not time for mirth and laughter, the cold, gray dawn of the morning after.”

“The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking.”