Frankie Boyle

“There is no doubt I have offended many people. No doubt, also, that I have blasphemed. I sometimes try to offend as part of my routine - after all, the essence of humour, even in a child, is the effort to shock and surprise.”

“Ed Miliband's anti-immigration stance is odd: it's hard to vote for a man who doesn't have the confidence to defend his own existence.”

“They say that the older you get, the more conservative you become: perhaps that's the reason there are no Tories in Scotland.”

“We need to take urgent action on climate change.”

“Islamic State practise a brand of Islamic law so strict that apparently Raqqa only has two Irish Pubs.”

“For anyone who has ever asked why the U.S. needs to address the issue of reparations for its history of slavery, Donald Trump is why. He is the living embodiment of America's unresolved issues.”

“Of course, it's absurd that we trust the Tories with our day-to-day reality, as so many of them don't really inhabit it. Why elect people to run our schools and hospitals who choose not to go to those schools and hospitals?”

“If you're an activist trying to do something important, I salute you. Most of us just give ourselves ethical brownie points for watching Channel 2 instead of Channel 3, like characters in a broad dystopian satire.”

“If leadership is about listening, the great political speeches would have been a little different.”

“If you feel more emotion looking at a picture of queuing lorries than a picture of desperate humans living in a lay-by, you need to check your bedtime routine for someone beating you round the head with a meat tenderiser.”

“I think we live in a country that sometimes forgets how effective the rule of law is, perhaps because our governments have often found it inconvenient.”

“I worry about everything in this country in particular.”

“To all my enemies, I will destroy it.”

“The Internet shows me how limited my interests are - there's everything out there and I'm still looking at what the weather's going to be like in Scotland.”

“I can make a joke pointing out that David Cameron told off Sri Lanka for human rights abuses committed with weapons Britain sold it - like Ronald McDonald calling you a fat bastard.”

“I'm totally off any caffeine now.”

“I just want to do something that I feel makes a difference.”

“The SNP are far from radical, but they do have a knack for producing the odd simple, progressive policy that's hard to argue against.”

“Creationists have often made me doubt evolution, but probably not in the way they think.”

“Internationally, I propose the radical step of not trying to solve complex political problems with 1,000lb bombs; domestically, I propose they start addressing inequality by paying reparations for slavery. I'm well aware that in a society where war and discrimination are now almost entirely normalised, both options sound like madness.”