Frank Skinner

“I'm prepared to stand by what I say.”

“I grew up on Laurel and Hardy. I'm aware from my own experience that comedy has got quite a fierce sell-by date, but that doesn't seem to apply to them; they made films I can remember laughing at when I was five that I'd still happily watch today.”

“My dad had a dominoes team, and there was a Frank Skinner in it. When I was a kid I used to look at the team card and think it was a brilliant name, so that's what I went for.”

“There is a period in your life when you need your parents and a period in your life where you only think you need your parents. Something clicks, there's a little switch that goes and your parents, who had been the wind beneath your wings, through no fault of their own can start to oppress a bit, can start to stop you doing stuff.”

“I suppose when I started out I didn't know the kind of comic I wanted to be at all. So in a way, the audience wrote my act. I went in and did stuff that I would have done in the pub, and some of it they liked, and some of it they didn't. And I kept what they laughed at.”

“I think when anyone says you look like a famous person you fiercely deny it, and then go around hoping other people will say it, too.”

“The edge of inappropriate is the spiritual home of the best stand-up comedy.”

“I quite like being a 'comedy elder statesman.' I am a big fan, I go to watch loads of new comics, and I like the fact that they don't go, 'Why are you here?'”

“People are a bit surprised if I say anything bright but I've probably brought that on.”

“The second gig I did was New Year's Eve at the Birmingham Anglers Club, and that started with booing.”

“I have a buoyancy about me, so no matter what happens, even when my parents died, I don't go under.”

“It's important that comedians talk about difficult and dangerous subjects; you have to be very careful that you don't just hear the subject heading and think, oh, this is bad, they shouldn't be talking about that. You have to hear what's being said.”

“After I became a professional comedian, I took to listening to Cash's classic hit 'Ring of Fire' before I went on stage. I always found it completely exhilarating.”

“I like to turn up my collar when I'm leaving the theatre and feel like I'm some heroic comedian figure.”

“I like proper jokes. I don't like people who get applause because the audience agree with them.”

“I must have been one of the few New Lads who was teetotal.”

“I can't swim. I've got better, but I can't go out of my depth. As soon as I smell chlorine my heart starts racing.”

“Now that I've met posh people, I think you meet some you like and some you don't.”

“I would like to talk about poems like I talk about football.”

“You have more freedom on radio. When people used to tell me they preferred radio to TV, I always thought they were making the best of things because they couldn't get any telly work, but now I understand, sort of.”