Ellen DeGeneres

“If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one another and all that stuff, there's got to be a very powerful energy to fight that. I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that.”

“You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.”

“No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.”

“We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that.”

“One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.”

“I've gotten to a place where I really am just settled. Really.”

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.”

“I'm a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian.”

“I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are a lot of self righteous people out there. And if you try to adjust your life to please them - by the way you dress, your sexuality, or the ass faces you like to make - you are just going to go crazy and risk being as unhappy as these self righteous kooks are. So enjoy your life. God gave us our bodies as a gift.(Granted, to some of us it's kind of a gag gift, but that's okay too.) Wear what you want, love who you want, and have fun.”

“People love gossip. It's the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going.”