A biography for Dorothy Parkerhasn’t been written yet.
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
“Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.”
“In youth, it was a way I had,To do my best to please.And change, with every passing ladTo suit his theories.But now I know the things I knowAnd do the things I do,And if you do not like me so,To hell, my love, with you.”
“I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.”
“Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.”
“The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.”
“This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.”
“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”
“If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)”
“MenThey hail you as their morning starBecause you are the way you are.If you return the sentiment,They'll try to make you different;And once they have you, safe and sound,They want to change you all around.Your moods and ways they put a curse on;They'd make of you another person.They cannot let you go your gait;They influence and educate.They'd alter all that they admired.They make me sick, they make me tired.”
“God, the bitter misery that reading works into this world! Everybody knows that - everbody who IS everybody. All the best minds have been off reading for years. Look at the swing La Rouchefoucauld took at it. He said that if nobody had ever learned to read, very few people would be in love. Good for you, La Rouchefoucauld; nice going, boy. I wish I’d never learned to read.”
“And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word.”
“He'll be cross if he sees I have been crying. They don't like you to cry. He doesn't cry. I wish to God I could make him cry. I wish I could make him cry and tread the floor and feel his heart heavy and big and festering in him. I wish I could hurt him like hell.He doesn't wish that about me. I don't think he even knows how he makes me feel. I wish he could know, without my telling him. They don't like you to tell them they've made you cry. They don't like you to tell them you're unhappy because of them. If you do, they think you're possessive and exacting. And then they hate you. They hate you whenever you say anything you really think. You always have to keep playing little games. Oh, I thought we didn't have to; I thought this was so big I could say whatever I meant. I guess you can't, ever. I guess there isn't ever anything big enough for that.”
“I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.”
“She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.”
“Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?”
“I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.”
“But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.”
“Prince or commoner, tenor or bass,Painter or plumber or never-do-well,Do me a favor and shut your face -Poets alone should kiss and tell.”
“They sicken of the calm who know the storm.”