Don Rickles

“Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.”

“Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive.”

“I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner.”

“My mother was a big influence. She kept pushing me because I was very shy and inhibited. And schoolwork was very difficult for me because I couldn't concentrate. I was failing almost every subject. To this day, I'm not too good at reading a book. But I was the president of my high school comedy group, and they treated me like a king.”

“I busted my bird for 60 years in the business, but my grandkids only know me as Mr. Potato Head.”

“Girls were scared of me because I can be loud. Barbara, my wife of 51 years, is very low-key. She was my picture agent's secretary.”

“I did a few movies, but the word 'star'... I cannot compare to a star like Clint Eastwood. I used to call Clint 'Larry Dickman' when he would come to my show; then, he started using the name when he would go under cover in a 'Dirty Harry' movie. That's why he's a movie star... he's so creative.”

“Diana Krall I met in, I think it was Canada. She's a lovely lady. Her husband, Elvis Costello, is a great star.”

“I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.”

“Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend!”

“I say things I get away with, and it becomes a joke.”

“I stopped smoking. But my personality I still have. I get up in the morning, and not everybody loves me, so if you want to call that a bad habit, there's that.”

“To me, the stand up part in my life is great. I know I can do that. When I get an acting chance, I'm really thrilled.”

“Why should I retire? I'm like a fighter. The bell rings, and you come out and fight.”

“I don't do impressions.”

“I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.”

“Compared to what comics say today, I'm a monk, but in those days, it was unheard of to make fun of people like I did. Of course, they exaggerated how outrageous I really was.”

“Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.”

“Johnny Carson was king of the kings, in my opinion.”

“It's very sweet to have people say nice things about you, and I always accept that.”