Don Marquis

“Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.”

“A demagogue is a person with whom we disagree as to which gang should mismanage the country.”

“An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience.”

“Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.”

“A hypocrite is a person who - but who isn't?”

“justice...is not inherent in the universe and what man has put there he uses when he uses it at all strictly for his own purposes the world is so sad that the only way to live with it is to laugh at it”

“From 'the lesson of the moth':and before i could argue himout of his philosophyhe went and immolated himselfon a patent cigar lighteri do not agree with himmyself i would rather havehalf the happiness and twicethe longevitybut at the same time i wishthere was something i wantedas badly as he wanted to fry himself”

“One of the most important things to remember about infant care is: don't change diapers in midstream.”

“a spider and a flyi heard a spiderand a fly arguingwait said the flydo not eat mei serve a great purposein the worldyou will have toshow me said the spideri scurry aroundgutters and sewersand garbage canssaid the fly and gatherup the germs oftyphoid influenzaand pneumonia on my feetand wingsthen i carry these germsinto households of menand give them diseasesall the people whohave lived the rightsort of life recoverfrom the diseasesand the old soaks whohave weakened their systemswith liquor and iniquitysuccumb it is my missionto help rid the worldof these wicked personsi am a vessel of righteousnessscattering seeds of justiceand serving the noblest usesit is true said the spiderthat you are moreuseful in a ploddingmaterial sort of waythan i am but i do notserve the utilitarian deitiesi serve the gods of beautylook at the gossamer websi weave they float in the sunlike filaments of songif you get what i meani do not work at anythingi play all the timei am busy with the stuffof enchantment and the materialsof fairyland my workstranscend utilityi am the artista creator and demi godit is ridiculous to supposethat i should be deniedthe food i need in orderto continue to createbeauty i tell youplainly mister fly it is alldamned nonsense for that foodto rear up on its hind legsand say it should not be eatenyou have convinced mesaid the fly say no moreand shutting all his eyeshe prepared himself for dinnerand yet he said i couldhave made out a casefor myself too if i hadhad a better line of talkof course you could said the spiderclutching a sirloin from himbut the end would have beenjust the same if neither ofus had spoken at allboss i am afraid that whatthe spider said is trueand it gives me to thinkfuriously upon the futilityof literaturearchy”

“The art of newspaper paragraphing is to stroke a platitude until it purrs like an epigram.”

“Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.”

“you want to knowwhether i believe in ghostsof course i do not believe in themif you had knownas many of them as i haveyou would notbelieve in them either”

“In all systems of theology the devil figures as a male person. Yes, it is women who keep the church going.”

“Every honorable man is forced to yield to blackmail once or twice in his life, just for the sake of keeping peace in the community.”

“I would rather start a family than finish one.”

“We pay for the mistakes of our ancestors, and it seems only fair that they should leave us the money to pay with.”