Diane Morgan

“I've just got a very still, deadpan face, and I know how to use it.”

“I've only written stand-up and sketch before, so writing something long-form on my own is proving quite difficult. But I'm enjoying it as well.”

“I've always wanted to make people laugh. It's been my only ambition, ever since my dad introduced me to the genius of the great comedians: Tony Hancock, Woody Allen, people like that.”

“I'm from a long line of really negative people.”

“There are always going to be angry people. I never get involved in Twitter. 'Cause where does it end? You just end up with people wanting to stab you.”

“So I was thinking I go to America. I think that would work, conquering America. Because they're so upbeat and positive and polite.”

“I've always wanted to do a sketch show. And they've sort of gone out of fashion for a bit, or they've just stopped doing them for whatever reason.”

“I wasn't a normal child. No boybands.”

“I don't want to do many panel shows. I'm a comic actor, not a comedian. There would be something wrong in Steve Coogan or Julia Davis doing panel shows all the time.”

“I'm often spotted when I'm staring at something open-mouthed and I'm sure people must think I'm not acting.”

“I think some people can't understand why you wouldn't want kids but I can't see any advantages at all. We're overpopulated as it is. Plus, I hate thinking the only reason I'm here is to pop out a kid or two. I'd rather leave something else behind.”

“The interviews themselves last a couple of hours and are cut down, so you can take your time lulling someone into a false sense of security before you hit them with the really weird questions.”

“When I was at drama school, people weren't taking pictures of themselves every five minutes. So I didn't realise how I looked. It was only when people started taking pictures of themselves that I looked at myself and thought: 'Oh my God, I look really miserable.' Even when I'm happy I look sad.”

“I love talking about myself! Why would you not want to talk about yourself?”

“I'm happy doing what I'm doing. I do think, though, there were great comic actors like Thora Hird and Max Wall who only got taken seriously when they did straight roles at the end of their careers.”

“While other kids were into New Kids on the Block, I was into Harold Lloyd and Stan Laurel.”

“Sitcoms are usually sweet with no viciousness.”

“I don't want to play a copper. I couldn't do it.”

“My neutral accent is Bolton.”

“People get so heated about it and can't see the funny side, I think. And plus, everything's been said. It must be really difficult to come up with new jokes about Brexit.”