Dawn French

“There is a latent fairy in all women, but look how carefully we have to secrete her in order to be taken seriously. And fairies come in all shapes, colours, sizes and types, they don't have to be fluffy. They can be demanding and furious if hey like. They do, however, have to wear a tiara. That much is compulsory.”

“The only time I did not know how to be, physically, was when I lost a lot of weight. That was the only time I didn't understand my body.”

“Why would anyone want to be called a size zero or even aspire to being a zero? I don't even understand the thinking behind it, let alone the practicalities. What is all that about?”

“I've always loved kissing. We all do, don't we?”

“I do think you are supposed to go through wars with your child because otherwise the tearing apart that has to happen when they go off to lead their own life would be unbearable.”

“In actual life I am a grumpy old bag.”

“Divorce is not easy, but if you genuinely put your kids first, that dictates the civility you should show each other. What example are you otherwise?”

“I'd like to play a horse, many people think I already have. Either end of the horse would be fine.”

“I keep my own personality in a cupboard under the stairs at home so that no one else can see it or nick it.”

“It was fantastic to work in Cornwall partly because my family live there so I was able to do lots of visiting and eat lots of cake. They live all over Cornwall and all over Devon.”

“I think of myself now as a writer, although I wouldn't go as far as to say 'novelist' because that sounds like a Victorian person.”

“Any people whose lives are about the way they look, whether it's fat or thin, are in a dangerous area.”

“I've chosen to stay in a jolly place for most of my life, and that is a lot of who I am.”

“I'm not a big drinking person and hardly ever have alcohol. Perhaps it's not sweet enough for my sweet tooth.”

“I don't know what the future holds, but I have to be confident about it. It's just the way I am.”

“I am a rubbish flirt.”

“Two people occupying the same air. Nothing else in common. Just oxygen.”

“My best friend is the most important girl, outside of family, to me. I met her when I went to college and we bonded immediately. I'd do anything for her at any time. We phone each other every day.”

“I have had the unfortunate experience of having someone write an unauthorised biography of me. Half of it is lies and the other half is badly written. My feeling is that if I'm going to write my life story, I ought to have my life first.”

“The theatre is one of those muscles - if you don't exercise it, it becomes a strange and truly fearful place.”