David Walliams

“I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll.”

“I don't have a lot to share with other men. My heart sinks when I get into a taxi and someone starts talking to me about football.”

“I know somebody from university who's called Phil Collins, and I think there's something terribly unfortunate about sharing a name with somebody who either is famous or becomes famous.”

“I don't know what I'll be like when I'm 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman.”

“I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it.”

“I thrive off the company of others, I love being sociable.”

“I just want to be happy, have kids, enjoy my life, help others and create some good work.”

“All human life can be found in an airport.”

“In Britain, a cup of tea is the answer to every problem.Fallen off your bicycle? Nice cup of tea.Your house has been destroyed by a meteorite? Nice cup of tea and a biscuit.Your entire family has been eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex that has travelled through a space/time portal? Nice cup of tea and a piece of cake. Possibly a savoury option would be welcome here too, for example a Scotch egg or a sausage roll.”

“I have a pathological fear of being on my own. When I'm with my own thoughts, I start to unravel myself, and I start to think really dark thoughts, self-destructive thoughts.”

“There's a sort of magic and music to comedy. Some words, some numbers even, are funnier than others. A Caramac bar, for instance, is funnier than a Milky Way.”

“I'm terribly attention-seeking. It's very different once you get all this attention, though. Because then you want to control it. And you can't exactly.”

“I don't have a fear factor. Well, not much of one. And I'm willing to risk quite a lot - as a comedian, you're always risking a lot. You're risking failure, especially if you're improvising and going on TV shows trying to make comedy out of thin air. That is quite a risky business.”

“The most used piece of kit in my kitchen is my saucepan. I use it every morning to cook my porridge in. The least used piece of equipment? I'd say a food mixer. I've never used it, I don't really know what they're for.”